Learning to let go.........

In my life recently i have had some hard obsticals. One of these is how i am trying to deal with how to let go of someone that i care about. It is hard when you are going through high school and you start to care about one of your friends more than a friend and they dont feel the same. Somwhere down the line we have to come to terms with learning to let go of that person or we can't be the same.

Leting go is not easy especially when you have a crush on someone. The problem with holding onto somone is that to often we lower our selfs to fit them, because if we really didnt want to lower ourselfs we would realize that we shouldnt have to do any thing to get them to care. We are,who we are,and if we arent the person for them we shouldnt just hold onto false hopes. That is only setting ourselfs up for more pain. We deserve better because it is not fair to us if we just hold on. Not only that but we become so blind to what is around us that we often lose focus of whats important and miss oppertunities. We let life pass us by when if we were able to look closer we might actually find somthing better for our selves. Respect is somthing that we should demand from others but only if we have it for ourselves. Someone once told me that , " what happens to a rose if it is not respected and acknowledged by the sun? it dies, and the rest of the world doesnt get to see the roses beauty." We can often use this analegy in applying this to how we should be treated.

In my case i was allowing myself to be used and walked all over. I have a habit of doing this because it is what i am most used to . It isnt right and i deserve more self respect and dignity then that. It is true that i would rather be incompased by pain then ever cause any one i care about pain if i can help it, but that is flawed also because i am jeperdizing myself and not allowing myself to shine. There is only so much that one can do for someone, because like every one else you must allow them to learn from their mistakes and choices.

Although leting go is hard i know it is crucial to becomeing my old self again. My friends have noticed how i have changed and how this has caused a changed how i have been acting and think. I know i deserve better then what i am getting but it is alotharder then people make it out to be and so it is for me. I have to learn to care about what happens to my self-esteem and dignity or it wil continue to be stomped on. It is hard do but it is crucial for me to be able to look at my self like a matter. but i guess this is all part of learning to let go.........